Podcast 2: Awakened – The Unknowing Good We Do…

Listen to Helen’s latest podcast “Awakened” – The unknown, unintended good we do in this world though our connections in human relationships.

Click here to listen to the Podcast on Pod-O-Matic

Put Your Best Face Forward – Feb 21st! / 2pm – 4pm

This meet up (click for link) will be an overview of skin and makeup basics, so you can put your best face forward. This will be applicable to everyone, no matter where you are in your transition. I will go over different kinds of skin care and makeup products and explain what they do. Please feel free to bring your makeup bag or toiletry bag so you can ask questions about products you already have.

We will be meeting at a private office (2211 Corinth Ave, #203) in West LA. Because we will be meeting on a Sunday, there will be very little traffic going through the building and parking is free! For more information on the location, please visit this link for a map (Click for Map/Office Location)

The cost for this workshop will be $25 and will include light snacks and beverages. A two hour private lesson costs $150, so this is a very cost effective way to learn. There are only 12 spots available, so everyone can ask questions and get personal attention. Please reserve your spot right away!

Make your RESERVATION today at:

http://www.meetup.com/Los-Angeles-MTF-Transgender-Beauty-Focus-Group/calendar/12547463/

[NOTE from Helen Hill LMFT: I am donating the use of my office for this meetup.  I consider outreach and helping an important part of being a therapist and of being part of the community.  Elizabeth is a wonderful person, and a professional makeup artist who has real empathy and interest in transgendered individuals.  Her desire to help is something I wish to encourage and I hope that many of you will take advantage of her expertise!  The outdoor patio (if it isn't raining!) is a wonderful place to chat and soak up the sun.  It is also a very private location, especially on Sundays, with the intention that you'll be able to relax and enjoy a day of learning and sharing.  I will provide refreshments, but ask that you not take them into the meeting room.  Thanks!  Hope to see you there!]

Quote of the Day

“Watch your thoughts, for they become words.
Watch your words, for they become actions.
Watch your actions, for they become habits.
Watch your habits, for they become character.
Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.”

- Anonymous

Podcast 1: Validation

Download Audio MP3 of this Podcast (Click to Play, Right-Click to Save)

Helen’s Podcast on Pod-O-Matic: Click Here

RSS Feed for Helen’s Podcast: Click Here

Helen discusses the nature, need, and desire for validation of one’s gender, and the sometimes dangerous and unhealthy actions one will take to feel validated.

I spy with my little eyes…

So I’m driving down the 405 freeway, when in my rear view mirror I spy with my little eyes a VW bug with not 1, not 2, but 3 mattresses strapped to the top. I was doing 70mph and the little bug was right behind me! I’m amazed he didn’t flip over from the wind resistance!  Wow!

Quote of the Day

“Like a boil that can never be cured so long as it is covered up but must be opened with all its ugliness to the natural medicines of air and light, injustice must be exposed, with all the tension its exposure creates, to the light of human conscience and the air of national opinion before it can be cured.”

- Martin Luther King

Thoughts on Christine Daniel’s Memorial Service

I attended the memorial service for Christine Daniels (aka Mike Penner) this past Saturday (Jan 16) at the Metropolitan Community Church in Los Angeles.  It was a beautiful and moving service.  The compassion, love, and grief were palpable in the audience and the presenters.  At the end, I don’t believe there was a dry eye in the house.

I shall never know why Christine took her life.  It is a mystery, and as one of the presenters stated, “we are not here to question her decision, but to remember her impact.”

What was conveyed was that Christine was an active member of her church, and a “bubbly” and energetic individual.  According to Rev. Neil Thomas, Christine was open and full of life, while when living as Mike Penner, he was shut down and withdrawn.  The loss of Christine is one from which her church is still reeling.

But… and this is a big but…  Christine certainly, in the beginning, never intended to lose her life.  She was once quoted as saying that her transition was a matter of survival!  Her family situation may have been a turmoil to which she may have felt unable and helpless to resolve.  Perhaps she felt that reconciling being herself with her desire to have reconciliation with a family that only wanted “Mike” was a bridge too far.  One cannot say.  I certainly cannot say.

I believe it is an almost universal desire to have the love and acceptance of one’s family.  There are times, though, where that acceptance might come with too high a price.  For me, to live in fear of self in order to have acceptance of family was too high a price.  It’s also a lousy way to live.

There are other maladies that families can suffer which may also be too high a price: alcoholism, drug addiction, child abuse, domestic violence, and more.  These maladies invade a family and can make it impossible and unhealthy to have family acceptance.  (None of this refers to Christine’s family or Christine, to be clear, but rather is a general observation.)

Sometimes parents and/or siblings cannot give you what they themselves do not possess.

It is very important when facing life events, including the life event of Authenticity, to be clear with who you are, with where you are heading, and having your hopes well grounded.  Don’t walk away from yourself.  And more importantly, do not think you are alone, because you are NOT!  Reach out for help.  Ask a friend.  Ask an organization.  Ask a therapist.  Ask trusted family members if possible.  But most of all, ask for help! It is NOT a failure to ask for help!  It is one of the most healthy things you can do!

Don’t make a decision that leaves others who love you wondering why they didn’t see the signs, didn’t know you were in pain, didn’t know you needed connection, compassion, sympathy, or support.  Love is eternal.  That much is true.  Beyond life and death.  Christine is loved just as much now as before.

But please give those who love you a chance before you ever decide to walk away from living.  Otherwise, friends and family, whether on the same page or not, grieve over the same loss, feeling totally helpless and impotent to help the person they love.

Know you are loved.  Know humans are frail creatures who are often driven by their own fears.  Know that you do not have to be the one who lives in fear, even if others you love do live in fear.  You have a choice.  Please choose to live authentically.  And remember to be brave by being vulnerable and knowing how to ask for help.

- helen

Tonight’s Saturday Night Video: The Ingenues

The Ingenues were an all-female band of talented musicians in the 1920s.  And incredible eclectic group of talented women, way ahead of the times.  We could learn from them and their chutzpah!  Enjoy!

Memorial Service for Christine Daniels – Sat. Jan 16 – 4pm – MCCLA

A memorial service for Christine Daniels (aka Mike Penner) will be held:

Saturday, January 16, 4pm – 5:30pm

Metropolitan Community Church of Los Angeles
4953 Franklin Avenue
Los Angeles, CA 90027

More information can be found here at:
http://www.lgbtpov.com/2010/01/memorial-service-for-christine-danielsmike-penner/

Sorry for the late notice…

h.

Something About an Ancient Voice