Reflection of Christmas Past

Alone? Make No Major Decisions During the Holidays

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the death of Christine Daniels/Mike Penner, a transgendered individual who was a sports writer for the LA Times. It appears that he/she committed suicide on Thanksgiving day. It weighed heavily upon me for several reasons, chief among them that his/her transition was so public, and then reverting back to Mike Penner was done so quietly. I mourn for his/her passing and hope that this individual has found peace.

One can never know the full reasons for a life ending so abruptly. I could speculate several different possibilities, but it would only be speculation. Indeed, his/her death may have nothing to do with transgender issues, even though it might seem unlikely.

What I would emphasize to all gender-variant individuals is that the holidays are NO TIME to be making major decisions about one’s life, one’s circumstances, one’s issues, or one’s family. Suicide is never good any time. But the holidays have a way of making us, what I like to call, “temporarily isolated” or “temporarily inconsolable.” The emphasis, though, should be on the word TEMPORARY.

During this tough economic time, many are suffering. And even in good economic times, during the holidays, there are so many people who find themselves spending the holiday alone, whether transgendered or not. And then there are those who do spend the holidays with their relatives and come back even more depressed and/or vulnerable than before they left.

Family and holidays can be very difficult even in the best of times. No matter what, whether spending holidays with friends and family, or spending them alone, I would recommend that no one make major life changing, irreversible decisions.

For those who find themselves depressed or alone during the holidays, the secret to success is to just get through them!

Survival is success.

The sun will come out tomorrow. There will be a chance for a new day and new beginnings. And hope does not take a raincheck during holidays. It is still there, even if it seems harder to grasp.

As you have doubtless heard many times before, even if you don’t feel like doing something, DO SOMETHING! A walk, a movie, reading a good book, or an activity. Invite another friend over for tea, or meet for a lunch or dinner. Some online support forums can be quite helpful during these times as well.

Lastly, don’t be afraid to ask for help. It is not a character flaw or a weakness to ask for help. On the contrary, it is one of the healthiest things a person can learn to do – knowing when to ask for help. This link http://gendersanctuary.com/resourceshelp.htm lists a number of resources that can be helpful during difficult times.

Make the time less about the holiday, and more about self-care.

But most of all, never use a temporary situation to make a permanent, unalterable decision. Never.

Hope and peace are always in season.

Faith of the Heart – Lyrics – Rod Stewart

It’s been a long road
Getting from there to here
It’s been a long time
But my time is finally near

And I can feel the change in the winds right now
Nothing’s in my way
And they’re not gonna hold me down no more
No there not gonna hold me down
————————–
It’s been a long night
Trying to find my way
Been through the darkness
Now I finally have my day

And I will see my dreams come alive at last
I will touch the sky
And they’re not gonna hold me down no more
No there not gonna change my mind
————————–
I’ve known a wind so cold and seen the darkest days
But now the winds I feel, are only winds of change
I’ve been through the fire and I’ve been through the rain
But I’ll be fine
——————————–
Cause I’ve got faith of the heart
I’m going where my heart will take me
I’ve got faith to believe
I can do anything
I’ve got strength of the soul
And no one’s gonna bend or break me
I can reach any star
I’ve got faith

It’s been a long road

Oh, it’s been long road

Quote of the Day

“For people like us, the journey itself… is home.”

-          Capt. James T. Kirk

 

From the Star Trek Movie scene that never was…



Annual Holiday Party – Sunday Dec 6th – Los Angeles Gender Center

LOS ANGELES GENDER CENTER

Cordially invites you to attend a

HOLIDAY PARTY

WHO: TG/TS Community, Family & Friends

WHEN:  December 6, 2009

TIME:  3:00 PM – 6:00 PM

WHERE: Abbey Café

692 North Robertson Boulevard

West Hollywood, California

(just south of Santa Monica Boulevard)

Hors d’oeuvres and beverages provided

COME CELEBRATE WITH US!

Call 310-475-8880 for more information.

Click to view the invitation on the LAGC website

Anything he can do, she can do… from the NY Times

“IN September 1998, David Buechner, then 39, a prominent classical pianist, came out as a transgender woman, explaining that from then on, she would live and perform as Sara Davis Buechner. The pianist had been accustomed to rave reviews (at 24, David, in his New York City concert debut, was called “an extraordinary young artist” by a New York Times critic). But the debut as Sara, reported in a Times magazine article, was not so well received, even by loved ones.”

Click to read the full article

On Favorite Teachers, “A Room Of One’s Own,” And Permission To Succeed

“A former teacher left writer Karen Houppert $75,000, and her meditation on the reasons why is a moving love letter to feminism, the spirit of collective action, and the impact a beloved mentor can have.”

Click to Read the Rest of the Article…

Welcome to the Gender Sanctuary

Hello all,

I’ve been pondering this rename of my website from helen-hill.com to gendersanctuary.com.  It’s been on my mind quite a bit.  As my practice has grown and developed, so have the need for additional resources and services for my clients and those who walk this unique path.

Each of us must find our way in this life.  Sometimes nature has a way of “shoving” us in a direction whether we think we are  “ready” or not.  Such is what happened in the case of my website.

You see, my website was hacked.  I dont’ know who did it or how, but it certainly was not nice.  My ISP has been very helpful and supportive, but the fact of the matter is, I have had to recreate my site from scratch in order to reset my security and make sure that there were no backdoors for the “bad guys” to enter.

I had reserved the name “genderSanctuary” for over a year now and been pondering how to use it and when.  It seems that circumstances have dictated that NOW is the time.  While the opportunity came up in an unexpected way, I can also say that I am glad and relieved to take this next step in creating new services and resources for those individuals who are “gender gifted.”

Stay tuned, and watch the web site as the genderSanctuary takes flight!

http://www.genderSanctuary.com

Quote of the Day – 10/20/09

“We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as impossible situations.”

- Charles Swindoll

A Body Larger Than Life

“As a comic, Billi Gordon used his girth to get laughs. Now it’s imprisoning him, but he plans a breakout.

“Billi Gordon is 6 feet 1 and weighed 701 pounds when he was admitted to Cedars-Sinai Medical Center last month. Offering directions to his room, he couldn’t resist adding, “I will be the large black man in the hospital bed.”

“For most of his adult life, he has been that large black man, never denying his girth, using it to disarm and entertain, creating a theatrical comedy career — in drag — before pursuing research in neuroscience.”

Click to read the rest of the article in the LA Times…