Gender Identity Therapy and Counseling in Los Angeles

Gender is not something people wrestle with easily. In our culture, gender is a bit taboo. And yet we want our answers; our peace; our souls. We want to put our toe into the water to test the temperature. And we must deal with our fears, both real and perceived. Most of all we must deal with our own self-image and self-worth. These are the real issues behind gender.

Whether you are seeking hormone therapy (HRT), sexual reassignment, or simply contemplating your future, therapy can be a great benefit. (My practice follows the WPATH (Harry Benjamin) standards of care related to hormone recommendation letters and surgery letters.)

A “transition” (or also known as a sex change) is not undertaken lightly. It requires: complete resolve; strength of will; facing and overcoming adversity (both internal and external); resources (including money); support systems (friends, colleagues, and/or family); and a certainty of one’s identity and forward path. Such a path is not for the faint of heart, nor for those seeking to maintain the status quo in one’s life. The most dangerous aspect of “transition” is the tendency toward isolation, which must be confronted and overcome if one is to live successfully and authentically in the world.

Therapy is usually the LEAST expensive aspect of a “transition.” (see Helen’s Fees and Forms here) When considering doctors’ fees, services, electrolysis, surgeries, hormones, blood tests, presentation costs (clothing, hair, voice, and the like), as well as other myriad issues, the demands of a sex change can be and are daunting. Resources are stretched and patience is key.
(see TSRoadmap for helpful information)

While it is important to be frugal and minimize costs, you cannot do a sex change “on the cheap.” One must be so assured of one’s identity and the steps to be taken, that commitment, clarity and endurance continue throughout. After all, it is the journey of a lifetime – to be true to yourself.

Helen has worked extensively with those uniquely gifted individuals often referred to as transgendered, transsexuals, intersexed and multi-layered gender variant individuals .  Ms. Hill brings years of real life experience compassion, acceptance, and honesty to those on their journey to wellness, integrity and congruency.

Office Policies – from Helen Hill LMFT

As a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist  I am governed by various laws and regulations and by the code of ethics of my profession. The Ethics Code requires that I make you aware of specific office policies and how these policies may effect you.  However, many of these policies may be unrelated to our work together.

Limits of Confidentiality: All dialogue between you and myself will be held in strict confidence, except under certain legally defined situations involving threats of selfharm or harm to another, and cases of child abuse, elder abuse, or abuse of otherwise dependent individuals.

Fees & Payment: It is customary to pay for sessions at the time of the session, unless otherwise arranged.  When fees for services are not paid in a timely manner, collection agencies may be utilized in collecting unpaid debts. The specific content of the services (e.g., diagnosis, treatment plan, case notes, testing) is not disclosed.

Insurance: Superbills are provided on a requested basis.  The practice does not submit billings to insurance companies.  The superbill is issued to the client and they may then submit the superbill for reimbursement to their insurance carrier.

Court Testimony: As a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, I do not provide services in contemplation of legal proceedings.  It is my policy not to become involved in any court proceedings including child custody evaluations.  In the event that you choose to subpoena me to appear at and/or testify in court, and/or a deposition, regardless of the nature of the case, you agree to pay a flat non-refundable fee of $360.00 at the time the subpoena is served, which secures my commitment for a halfday.  Additional required court time will be billed at $90.00 per hour.  The time that I spend preparing, copying and mailing documents including records, letters and reports will be billed at $90.00 per hour.

Appointments & Cancellation Policy: Sessions are 50 minutes long. If you need to cancel or reschedule an appointment, please notify me 24 hours in advance in order to avoid being charged for a missed session.

Email: helenhillmft@gmail.com

TS Factoid of the Day: Perfection Syndrome

Perfection is an insidious way of sabotaging one’s transition and gender authenticity.  Perfection is that unobtainable bar that promises that you’ll never be good enough, nor be satisfied with one’s efforts.  Perfection allows one to wallow in anger, depression and despair without having taken any real, meaningful actions to deal with one’s identity.

Perfection allows one to stay in place staring at the mirror, loathing one’s existence while demanding that no transition and no authentic identity can take place unless it is perfect.  Hands, shoulders and feet may not be too large; the waist must be small; the head and shoulders must be just right; and the chest configured in a way to be “perfect.”

Where does this measure of perfection originate?  Is it some impossible bar that we have intentionally set to be angry and upset that one is not just like other “real” genders?  Is it an excuse to sit still and blame one’s circumstances?  Did one read too many issues of Vogue, Seventeen, and People magazine?  Are we using mass-marketed “images” of what a woman or a man should be, all the while knowing that reality is not the “images” we see, but rather the truth of who we  are inside, and how to make an authentic showing on the outside.

Perfection can be a dangerous syndrome for perennial unhappiness and frustration.

Goals and being true to one’s self are laudable.  Demands for being “perfect” lead the way in mental health issues and neuroses.  Don’t be perfect.  As the great psychologist Winnicott once said, “Be good enough.” It is far healthier and allows one to embrace the inner truth for all to see.

Something About an Ancient Voice

Beauty 101: Your Fall Beauty Questions Answered (Jezebel)

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This week’s Beauty 101 is focusing on adapting one’s daily routine to keep up with seasonal changes. You had questions, and your fellow readers have once again come through with the answers.

Read more: http://jezebel.com/5642231/beauty-101-your-fall-beauty-questions-answered#ixzz1021XlGpS

TS Factoid of the Day: Existence

Transsexuals can both run and hide, and do it very, very well.

No one may ever really know you; but in the end it is a hollow existence.

Best to stand in the light of day, go toe-to-toe with life, and say,
“I exist, therefore I am.” *

* Descartes

Quote of the Day

Some people are afraid of what they might find if they try to analyze themselves too much, but you have to crawl into your wounds to discover where your fears are. Once the bleeding starts, the cleansing can begin. – Tori Amos

TS Factoid of the Day: Sexual Attraction

a rose by any other name...

If you are straight before SRS (sex reassignment surgery) , and you are gay/lesbian after SRS, the attraction is actually the same; it is just the label that has changed.  True and weird.

Journey – a Poem by Edna St. Vincent Millay

Ah, could I lay me down in this long grass
And close my eyes, and let the quiet wind
Blow over me—I am so tired, so tired
Of passing pleasant places! All my life,
Following Care along the dusty road,
Have I looked back at loveliness and sighed;
Yet at my hand an unrelenting hand
Tugged ever, and I passed. All my life long
Over my shoulder have I looked at peace;
And now I fain would lie in this long grass
And close my eyes.
Yet onward!
Cat birds call
Through the long afternoon, and creeks at dusk
Are guttural. Whip-poor-wills wake and cry,
Drawing the twilight close about their throats.
Only my heart makes answer. Eager vines
Go up the rocks and wait; flushed apple-trees
Pause in their dance and break the ring for me;
And bayberry, that through sweet bevies thread
Of round-faced roses, pink and petulant,
Look back and beckon ere they disappear.
Only my heart, only my heart responds.
Yet, ah, my path is sweet on either side
All through the dragging day,—sharp underfoot
And hot, and like dead mist the dry dust hangs—
But far, oh, far as passionate eye can reach,
And long, ah, long as rapturous eye can cling,
The world is mine: blue hill, still silver lake,
Broad field, bright flower, and the long white road
A gateless garden, and an open path:
My feet to follow, and my heart to hold.

Thought of the Day: Much Ado About Worry

Worrying about what might be, could be, or situations that have NOT happened simply robs one of the ability to LIVE in the PRESENT and be a full participant in life.

- hh