“If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn’t sit for a month.”
1. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for your living situation.
It doesn’t matter what kind of living situation you’re in, whether you have housemates, live alone, live unmarried with a partner, or live with your ex still. You don’t need to explain to anyone why you live the way that you do.
2. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for your life priorities.
Want to open a business? Become a pastor at your church? Sell all your belongings and backpack through India? Go for it! And remember, you don’t have to explain your priorities to anyone. They are yours, and you don’t have to try to impress people with them.
3. You don’t owe anyone an apology if you are not sorry.
If you’ve done something that someone else doesn’t like but that you don’t regret, you don’t owe them an apology. An apology is to try to rectify a mistake and the impact it’s had on others.
4. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for requiring alone time.
If you need alone time, you’re not being rude, introverted, or unfriendly. You just need time alone. You don’t have to explain your need for that. Just enjoy that precious time alone.
5. You don’t owe anyone your agreement on their personal beliefs.
When people share their personal beliefs with you, it’s often a sign of trust that should be cherished. It’s a window into their souls and the way they think. But just because someone has shared their personal beliefs with you doesn’t mean you have to nod in agreement. Also, see #3.
6. You don’t owe anyone a yes to everything they say.
I know it can be hard to say no to the hard ask, but just know that you don’t have to say yes to everything everyone asks of you. Know your limits and what you’re willing to do for others.
7. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for your physical appearance.
If you’ve lost weight, gained weight, changed your hair, grown a beard, or done anything with your physical appearance, you don’t owe anyone an explanation for it. You’re just doing you. They can deal with pink hair.
8. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for your food preferences.
We all like different types of food. If someone tries to judge you over it, don’t engage. You don’t have to explain what kind of food you like to eat. You just eat what you want to.
9. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for your sex life.
Whether your sex life doesn’t exist or does with another consenting adult, it’s no one’s business but your own. People will try to judge you for who you sleep with or what your sexuality is, but what they think generally doesn’t matter.
10. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for your career or personal life choices.
When it comes to the direction you’re going in life, you don’t owe anyone an explanation for your career or the direction you’ve opted to go. Just go for it! The people who truly care for you will back you up.
11. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for your religious or political views.
Whether you are a Democrat, Republican, Catholic, Protestant or Muslim, it’s your choice and you don’t owe anyone an explanation for it. If someone wants to have a fun, candid discussion with you and you also want that, have at it! A good debate or exchange of ideas is a lot of fun.
12. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for being single.
It doesn’t matter if you’re single by design or by accident – you’re single! Chances are, you’re pretty happy with it too. You might get pressured to go find a partner and get married, but you march to the beat of your own drum.
13. You don’t owe anyone a date just because they asked.
This is such an important thing to remember. You don’t have to say yes just because someone asked you to go out with them!
14. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for your decision about marriage.
Want to get married at 18? Don’t ever want to get married? As long as you’re an adult making decisions of your own accord, your decision about marriage is yours alone.
15. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for your relationship choices.
Did you forgive a cheater? Did you get back together with your ex? Did you say no to a marriage proposal? These decisions were made by you for your own set of reasons, and you don’t owe anyone an explanation for that.
Yes, I stole I.D.I.C. from Star Trek, but it most certainly seems to apply with regards to the greatest and most unfathomable human emotion: love.
The lack of vaccinations for children under five years of age is atrocious in California. The article ”
More Calif. Kindergarteners Under-Immunized Than Unvaccinated” from CaliforniaHealthline.org has an excellent summary of vaccination rates statewide, and the appalling lack of vaccinations within Los Angeles County.
Quoting from the article:
While about 2.5% of California kindergarteners’ parents have opted out of vaccinations via personal belief exemptions, nearly 7% start school under-immunized.
According to Amy Pine, director of the Alameda County Public Health Department’s immunization program, under-immunized children still are “vulnerable” to contracting and transmitting diseases.
The rate of under-immunized kindergarteners who are admitted to school on a conditional status varies across the state. For example, the rate is:
- 12.28% in Los Angeles County — nearly double the statewide average;
- 11.62% in San Francisco; and
- 9.68% in Alameda County.
Few counties have taken steps to stem the number of “conditional entrants,” but some stakeholders have made recommendations to the state to improve the tracking of such students (“State of Health,” CHCF Center for Health Reporting/KQED, 2/2).
This is really a setting for an epidemic of previously eliminated childhood diseases, such as mumps, measles, rubella, and perhaps even polio. Only time will tell!
Difficult, complex, chaotic, layered, fragile, detailed and imperfect, hard to watch, yet beautiful in its own way.
Just like LIFE.
Sadly, I read about a new study in the science journal Violence and Gender, titled “Denying Rape but Endorsing Forceful Intercourse: Exploring Differences Among Responders”, where one third of male responders in the study would rape a woman if there were no consequences.
Quoting from The Independent:
“Amongst other questions they were asked how they would act in a situation where they could have sexual intercourse with a woman against her will “if nobody would ever know and there wouldn’t be any consequences”.
31.7% of all men participating in the study would force a woman to have sexual intercourse in such a “consequence-free situation” – which is rape.
Worryingly, most men who indicated that they would commit rape did not even recognise their actions as such.
When explicitly asked whether they would rape a woman if there were no consequences, only 13.6% of participants said they would do so, a marked fall on those who had described that they would commit rape.”
For some reason, the male respondents, when the action was made clear that what would be happening was legally defined as rape, lowered the percentage saying they would still rape a woman.
There seems to be a disconnect among the male respondents about what IS rape. And somehow this disconnect seems to maintain that it is NOT rape if it is a consequence-free situation.
It appears there is still lots of work to do with education and ethics for university college males.
Link to the study: http://online.liebertpub.com/doi/pdf/10.1089/vio.2014.0022
The following animation cutely shows how emotions course through our adult bodies, while not being outwardly displayed. It’s a shame. Emotions are healthy and can be displayed in healthy ways. Enjoy!